Another Reason to Homeschool

I am not one of those homeschooling advocates who thinks that all public schools are beyond hope or that all families should homeschool. Far from it.

My school is small, family oriented, and academically strong. I don't know how I got so lucky to land here after college because I hear teacher friends in other school districts talk about their days and it leaves me in  state of shock and horror about what they have to deal with. I find the easiest way to describe my school is to say that I teach at the school Beaver Cleaver went to in the 50's somehow trapped in a time warp here in 2010.

That's not to say we don't have problems but for the most part our families are strong & intact, teachers are respected, classes are small, and there is a strong emphasis on basic academics enriched by the arts. We also have long standing traditions of boy and girl scouting at our school. I think the main reason my school has remained a place that Beaver would find familiar is our small, isolated community whose members donate an obscene amount of money to keep our programs afloat. In a way we're like a private/public school hybrid. The "suggested" donation at my school per child is $1,000 and that is not including "fees" for art supplies, field trips, class parties, assemblies, classroom supplies, book orders, book fairs, etc, etc, etc. So much for free public education, right?

That is me being wordy to say these families are paying out of pocket a ridiculous amount of money to have their kids in a sweltering, decrepit, classroom everyday with a teacher who is focused on the most unruly students and those who are struggling with serious learning issues. That is the harsh reality.

I try my best to support all my students but in the end I am just one person. No matter how much I try, how much I give, how much I pour myself into my classroom & my students if one of my 6 year olds decides to throw a grand, screaming tantrum (which happened today) or one decides to attack another (which also happened today), or someone throws up in the classroom (thankfully only a false alarm today), that is who my attention is going to turn to out of necessity and practicality. So much for that enriching lesson for my higher readers or the new math game I was going to introduce or honestly even just the extra, fun things I do with my kids (goodbye apple pies we had planned to bake). It all goes out the window in those moments.

If these children were in a homeschool environment each would receive the focused, attention he or she needs in a much more time efficient way. So much of the school day is learning procedures that don't matter for your academic outcomes later in life (lining up, assemblies, waiting for everyone else to quiet down, waiting while your teacher has to deal with another child's special circumstance, etc).

I really enjoy my job and find it fulfilling (most of the time) but I cannot imagine seeing my own future children in a classroom setting like the one I spend my days in. Some of my co-workers are admirable, caring teachers. Honestly, I know many of them do a better job than I do and I still wouldn't want my children in their classrooms. It doesn't matter to me how loving and talented the teacher is, the setting is still all wrong. Spending my days teaching in a classroom, it's funny to me that I still feel this way but if anything being a classroom teacher has just made my desire to homeschool even stronger than before I taught.

I think this is all coming out in my end of the day, end of the week stream of consciousness because we had such a rough week at school. I have never had so many children with serious behavioral issues (not to mention learning issues) in one class and as a result we are still focusing on learning routines & appropriate ways to act at school here at week 6.

I'm exhausted everyday. I have a headache everyday. My throat hurts everyday. My face hurts from trying to keep smiling. And I just feel sad for the 5 kids in my class who are ready to learn, who have lovely manners, and who spend a big part of their day at school waiting for their classmates to listen. It should not have to be that way.

And all I can think is that if they were at home things would be so different.