Self Study Update IV

The only area of my self schooling goals that I seem able to devote consistent daily time to of late is piano. Which is ok with me. Baby steps!

I have been trying to practice at least 30 minutes each day and to do more than just play through the hymn book or a Broadway book. I'm still working on the Debussy arabesque but I have added in a Clementi sonatina that I had been working on during my last round of formal lessons. I'm making myself focus on all that tedious stuff like phrasing and dynamics... I probably really do need a teacher again to hold me to this.

And all this daily practice has made a big improvment on my multi-octave scales. I can finally play both hands, 2 octaves, quickly with the correct fingering! Boring? Very much so but so satisfying to finally be getting better even just a teeny tiny bit.

Another thing that has helped is carrying my  music with me to school on days I have to stay late. I've been able to practice (and relax) a bit after the kids leave and before I head to my meetings.

In French news, I have a new goal. I'm trying to read the Louis Segond translation of the Bible. It is slow going but so interesting. I'm in Genesis (and probably will be for quite a while) but it is fascinating to go back and forth between the French and the KJV. I found this free audio online as well but the reader goes really fast for me. Parts of this feel like a tongue twister to me- bone of my bone en francais is beyond my pronunciation abilities at this point!

Genèse 2:23

Et l`homme dit: Voici cette fois celle qui est os de mes os et chair de ma chair! on l`appellera femme, parce qu`elle a été prise de l`homme.

I'm still working away at my Debussy piece which is making me happy because I'm starting to be able to play it at the appropriate tempo (at least in some parts). But then I pulled out my Sonata book from my last round of formal piano lessons which was about a year ago at this point. I am so irritated with myself because I can see exactly where I left off when I stopped working with my teacher and it's hard not to focus on the progress I could have made. I keep thinking someday I'll figure out the secret to getting myself on the piano bench everyday for an hour but that day has yet to come!

I am trying to be more focused in my practice this week. I've been reading a lot about keeping a practice journal as well as having goals, even simple ones, for each practice session. So I'm going to try that out and see what happens. I'm also going to add in some scales (which I've been skipping out on) and also actually work on (as opposed to glossing over the hard parts) of a piano arrangement of Blessed Assurance that I've been messing around with for the past month or so.

And here is why I love wasting time on youtube:
Debussy's Arabesque 1 on harp:


Which leads me down the path of wishing I could play the harp and all these lovely videos :)

Another Reason to Homeschool

I am not one of those homeschooling advocates who thinks that all public schools are beyond hope or that all families should homeschool. Far from it.

My school is small, family oriented, and academically strong. I don't know how I got so lucky to land here after college because I hear teacher friends in other school districts talk about their days and it leaves me in  state of shock and horror about what they have to deal with. I find the easiest way to describe my school is to say that I teach at the school Beaver Cleaver went to in the 50's somehow trapped in a time warp here in 2010.

That's not to say we don't have problems but for the most part our families are strong & intact, teachers are respected, classes are small, and there is a strong emphasis on basic academics enriched by the arts. We also have long standing traditions of boy and girl scouting at our school. I think the main reason my school has remained a place that Beaver would find familiar is our small, isolated community whose members donate an obscene amount of money to keep our programs afloat. In a way we're like a private/public school hybrid. The "suggested" donation at my school per child is $1,000 and that is not including "fees" for art supplies, field trips, class parties, assemblies, classroom supplies, book orders, book fairs, etc, etc, etc. So much for free public education, right?

That is me being wordy to say these families are paying out of pocket a ridiculous amount of money to have their kids in a sweltering, decrepit, classroom everyday with a teacher who is focused on the most unruly students and those who are struggling with serious learning issues. That is the harsh reality.

I try my best to support all my students but in the end I am just one person. No matter how much I try, how much I give, how much I pour myself into my classroom & my students if one of my 6 year olds decides to throw a grand, screaming tantrum (which happened today) or one decides to attack another (which also happened today), or someone throws up in the classroom (thankfully only a false alarm today), that is who my attention is going to turn to out of necessity and practicality. So much for that enriching lesson for my higher readers or the new math game I was going to introduce or honestly even just the extra, fun things I do with my kids (goodbye apple pies we had planned to bake). It all goes out the window in those moments.

If these children were in a homeschool environment each would receive the focused, attention he or she needs in a much more time efficient way. So much of the school day is learning procedures that don't matter for your academic outcomes later in life (lining up, assemblies, waiting for everyone else to quiet down, waiting while your teacher has to deal with another child's special circumstance, etc).

I really enjoy my job and find it fulfilling (most of the time) but I cannot imagine seeing my own future children in a classroom setting like the one I spend my days in. Some of my co-workers are admirable, caring teachers. Honestly, I know many of them do a better job than I do and I still wouldn't want my children in their classrooms. It doesn't matter to me how loving and talented the teacher is, the setting is still all wrong. Spending my days teaching in a classroom, it's funny to me that I still feel this way but if anything being a classroom teacher has just made my desire to homeschool even stronger than before I taught.

I think this is all coming out in my end of the day, end of the week stream of consciousness because we had such a rough week at school. I have never had so many children with serious behavioral issues (not to mention learning issues) in one class and as a result we are still focusing on learning routines & appropriate ways to act at school here at week 6.

I'm exhausted everyday. I have a headache everyday. My throat hurts everyday. My face hurts from trying to keep smiling. And I just feel sad for the 5 kids in my class who are ready to learn, who have lovely manners, and who spend a big part of their day at school waiting for their classmates to listen. It should not have to be that way.

And all I can think is that if they were at home things would be so different.